It’s that time of year when people start sharing photos of their seemingly perfect family traditions on social media. I know I’m guilty of borderline oversharing our happy moments with friends, family, and acquaintances I may have met in person on both my Facebook page and Instagram. Before I post, I scrutinize each picture. Is that the best angle of my face? Are the kids smiling? Are their eyes open? Did everyone look at the camera this time? And without a doubt, a photo I think is perfect because I see the person’s true self-shining – they don’t like it! It’s almost 2025, and it’s nearly as if we have developed multiple views of reality. We have the one we want everyone to believe is accurate and what is reality. When did we develop this need to showcase our lives in a way we feel others will accept?
I was born in 1980, at the tail end of Generation X, so most of my formative years were based on the same experiences of millennials. Technology has played a massive part in my development. I grew up with a landline, a cable box, the need to get up to change the channel, and photos you didn’t see until you took the film to be developed. Email and Instant Messenger were the first catalysts in my dependence on technology for communication. I was a junior or senior in high school when I got Instant Messenger and suddenly could just message friends instead of calling to debate who was driving or where we were going, but still having to get off the internet if someone needed the landline. When I went five hours away to college, I could suddenly keep in touch with home friends and quickly message school friends to see when everyone was going to the cafeteria, and we always had internet! I got my first cell phone as a junior in college because I was now driving myself back and forth for 5 hours in a used car with a broken seatbelt and no heat. It’s genuinely no wonder I’ve only bought new cars since that beautiful Pontiac Grand Prix. How did we share our lives way back then, nearly 25 years ago?
We took pictures. Our cellphones did not, but at some point, I did have a digital camera that allowed you to look at the photos before you printed them and share them via email. I never joined MySpace—I was training to be a teacher, and we were warned about having too much out there for others to see. I didn’t join Facebook until January of 2009. I had left teaching because I had a special needs toddler starting preschool and a newborn to entertain all by myself from when Chris left for NYC at 6:30 am and returned at 7:30 pm. It was a lot to deal with as a mom of two, with little contact with the outside world. Suddenly, I could share what I was thinking with so many people. My first post was: “Amanda is figuring out Facebook.” My second post, “Amanda is praying that double nap lasts more than 10 minutes.” I could obsessively scroll and see what amazing things everyone was doing while I was working to figure out being a part of a new adventure, both with a brand new non-profit organization and as a mom of two. Facebook was a great way to see I wasn’t alone, that others understood, and that if I posted something, people would make me feel like I wasn’t failing at life!
Social media sharing became my lifeline in those early days, and I still use it today, but not for the connection I once craved. Now, I share the good days in my life on my page and chronicle my illness and challenging days on my Chronicles of Health page. I share my joys and happiness because sometimes I can’t contain how blessed I feel. I have recently assumed the responsibility of creating content for The Table’s Facebook page. I’ve been doing it since we were founded in January, but now, it is my purposeful mission to share Jesus with the online community and invite everyone to participate in this movement.
While my use and sharing on Facebook is done from a place of Joy, I’ve also had to hide posts from people and even unfriend those who try to bring hate into my safe online place. I also know there are people on social media who are alone and isolated and see the joy others experience as a reminder of that isolation. How do we reach those individuals and share The Table, hoping to offer them a place and community that cares and nurtures them? Social media can be a beautiful tool when used properly, but it must also be taken for what it can be: A place to hide behind a screen and say things you would never say to someone’s face. I try to watch my children’s social media accounts and instill in them the idea that whatever is on the internet can not be taken away, so I use it as a tool for good and love and never for hate or bullying.
I look forward to seeing everyone’s pictures of holiday traditions. I want to watch the faces of students from 20 years ago age and raise their children, and connect with people who live far away but are so dear to my life. And please, if you are reading this and are lonely or isolated, reach out – there is always room at the Table for everyone!
Amanda Renz